I even get stuck on tiny things reflects negatively on me and my inner perfection-freak. In the grand scheme, do the little details of life really matter? It obviously doesnt benefit us to practice the 80/20 rule in regards to physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, she adds. Hypothetically given the choice between your mate having a crazy mother or an aversion to oral sex, she says, or no longer leaving his skinny jeans on the bedroom floor, but wearing smelly football jerseys every day, would you trade one for the other? As our couples therapist once told us, Yes, you are a pain in the ass, but you are his pain in the ass, says Green. Sounds great, but from a psychological standpoint, is it a good idea to practice such a rule, or should we all be holding out for the 90/10 relationship, or the 95/5 relationship, or whatever the magic formula may be? So what counts as being OK for the 20 percent imperfect part? Weitere Informationen zu unseren Cookies und dazu, wie du die Kontrolle darüber behältst, findest du hier: Cookie-Richtlinie. Though those questions are totally validand often the answer to them is yesif youre in a mostly great relationship, someone getting hangry or overly clingy or distant isnt cause to peace out. If we want to have good and happy lives, putting energy into adjusting our attitude gives us much more bang for our buck than trying to change everything we perceive to be wrong, explains Green.
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Its great for your psyche. The trick is to actually enjoy where you and online dating miten antaa jonkun alas varovasti your partner have your problems, says Green. Someone else can enjoy the football-loving partner with the Betty Crocker mom. As Green elaborated, I found myself nodding along with her insights. Hannah Green, a Bay Area psychotherapist specializing in individual and couples therapy, to find out more.